Getting the PhD like a Warrior 🎗
War•ri•or: (noun) a brave or experienced fighter
Guess what? I finally got the PhD this month! After many years, I have finally completed my PhD in Cancer and Cell Biology. First, I am honored to have completed my PhD during women’s history month. I’m especially honored that this month is also Endometriosis Awareness Month. Endometriosis (endo) can be defined as tissue that is similar to the tissue that lines the uterus being found outside of the uterus. It is a whole body disease. The presence of endometriosis has been detected on the brain, the lungs, the bowel, and various reproductive organs. Please visit my “Favorite Resources” page to learn more and connect with active endo advocates.
While I was diagnosed on December 28th, 2018, I have been experiencing endo symptoms since I was 12 years old. I feel that I’m constantly at war with my own body, but I always feel like I am losing the battle. Individuals with endometriosis often refer to themselves as endo warriors. While I began referring to myself as an endo warrior shortly after my diagnosis, I have not always felt like a warrior. Dealing with endo is exhausting and often leaves me feeling like anything but a warrior. Yet during these last few months of wrapping up my PhD, I finally understood what it meant to be a warrior.
It took finishing my PhD for me to realize being an endo warrior does not relieve the feelings of defeat or discouragement. Being a warrior is all about the bravery and the fight. With the daily pelvic pain attacks, muscle spasms, numbing or loss of sensation in various body parts, the brain fog & memory loss, constant fatigue, and endo-related depression & anxiety, I still managed to bravely face each day and put in the work I needed to complete my degree. The end of my PhD involved MANY doctor’s visits and testing in between last minute experiments and writing sessions. And it most certainly looked like lots of heating pad sessions while I wrote my dissertation and prepared for my talk.
The end of my PhD journey looked like me rolling around the lab in rolling chairs while working on experiments because standing was too painful.
When I reflected on this PhD journey every day this month, I realized completing my PhD was brave and required a lot of fight, but it took extra bravery and fighting to do it while managing my endo. While I HATE being told I am “so strong” because of the negative connotations it has had on the psyche of many black women, I can still acknowledge the strength that I used to pull (read: drag) me through this experience. As a relentless individual who likes to finish what she starts (potentially toxic trait 🥴), I felt that I had no choice but to be strong and brave to finish this PhD. While there are so many emotions and trauma left to unpack regarding this PhD journey, I can work through those on the other side, as the warrior that is Dr. Chrystelle L. Vilfranc, PhD. Even if it involves me and my trusty heating pad.